Tag Archives: Rapture

:) love this one!!!!!!

22 May

A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car’s sunroof during an incident best described as “a mistaken rapture” by dozens of eyewitnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

“She started screaming “He’s back, He’s back” and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car,” said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

“I was slowing down but she wouldn’t wait till I stopped,” Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky,” he went on to say.

“This is the strangest thing I’ve seen since I’ve been on the force,” said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who’s been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said “Come back here,” just as the Williams’ car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied “This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen.”

rapture fail – oops!!!!!

22 May

THEY spent months warning the world of the apocalypse, some giving away earthly belongings or draining their bank accounts. And so they waited, eagerly or anxiously, for the appointed hour to arrive.

Nothing.

When 6pm came and went at various spots around the globe, and nothing extraordinary emerged.  In Australia and New Zealand, early target of the prediction of Armageddon, and across the world, the deadline was greeted with scepticism and humour.

“People are making jokes like there’s no tomorrow,” was one of the top tweets.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national/case-of-poor-judgment/story-e6frfkvr-1226060322904#ixzz1N2aZJtBs

DON’T MAKE ANY PLANS FOR SUNDAY. JESUS WAS WRONG!

21 May
Every Which Way but Straight

Image by cindy47452 via Flickr

Being an ancient hippie I was rather concerned about Friday, May 13, 2011. Not just because it was Friday the Thirteenth but because there was a planetary alignment predicted by the song Aquarius in the musicalHair.

Jupiter was aligned with Mars, but apparently the Moon was not in the Seventh House so nothing changed.

Things will be different a week later. Sunday, May 22, 2011 is going to be a very bad day for people who are not good Christians, because at 6pm on Saturday, May 21, the Rapture is going to happen.

This is when all good souls will be taken to Heaven, leaving the sinners and apostates behind. It could even be worse, as some are saying that all the people who have ever died will come back to wander the Earth. It will be the long-predicted Zombie Apocalypse.

“And how do I know this?” you ask, as even non-Christians might be aware of Jesus telling his followers that nobody would be able to predict when he would return.

http://au.news.yahoo.com/opinion/post/-/blog/australianskeptics/post/1142/comment/1/

what do you think is going to happen today?

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